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Two years ago, Brooke Spencer was an avid competitive bodybuilder. She rocked bikinis and full makeup at bodybuilding competitions. She dedicated herself to prep, the period in the months and weeks before a competition that involved intense training and heavy focus on physical appearance. In competition photos, Spencer plastered on a big smile. Behind the scenes, however, she was unhappy—her life was dominated by the numbers she saw on the scale.
“Every single morning I’d follow the same routine—roll out of bed, go to the washroom, take off all my clothes, and step on the scale through squinted eyes because I was living in complete fear of that number,” Spencer tells SELF. “If the number went down, I’d have a great day and I ‘loved’ prep. If the number stayed the same or went up, even if it was 0.1 of a pound, it would send me into a downward spiral and would set the tone for my day.”
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